I would spend sometime in the "settings" and mail options. You can change the notifications on almost everything, just got to dig around. Take a little time and learn the device, there is allot to see and learn and I am sure you can get your notifications so your wife is happier too
If your router has a WEP, make sure you keyed it correctly, you may want to have it forget and re-enter it again. Mine found mine first time and works great on 1.6.
I don't know what you mean by "fresh install", you either did the upgrade or you didn't
Sorry, I don't do text, so I can't help you there. I use K9 for email because it seems to support my Yahoo mail better and I can put both my gmail & yahoo in the same place. There are options for multiple functions too in the settings.
Good luck and Happy Holidays
Even a guy that is almost 55 can use smileys every once in a while