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Random Thought Thread

I may add to it later, but right now I'm just working on getting through today. Thank you though!
 
Well ot.... I have officially found a dark and lonely place. Long story that I'll try to cut short enough to be readable. I've been divorced now for going on 2 years. To be honest with you all and myself, I'd always hoped we would get back together. She was/is the kind of once in a lifetime woman some of us are lucky enough to find. We have a couple kids together. I actually also sort of adopted a son of hers from a previous relationship. I was with her while she was pregnant with him. (Another long story.)

Anyway, found out today that she and my best friend are together. They became friends even before we divorced, although it was never more than platonic until about a month ago. Since the divorce I never liked the idea that they were friends and that I couldn't confide in him about her because of the fact. He had been my sole confidant for over 20 years. I repeatedly told him and was always assured that he was never interested in her. I accepted, tried to move on. Throughout all that I was seeing a few women. It never worked out because my heart was never in it like it needed to be. My ex wife still had it.

Leads me to this week... I have been seeing a woman, I've posted about her in here. Actually really liked her. She is smart, sexy, successful, enjoys a lot of the things I do.... I had a weird couple days of communication with the ex and we spoke about possibly having another go at us. I felt like I owed it to she and I and because she owns my heart, I broke it off with the woman I was seeing, because I hold myself to being an honest guy. I may have omitted the whole truth to her and just told her I wasn't into taking any further, but without the details of my ex wife... for which I felt terrible. And still do. Anyway, this afternoon the ex admitted to me that she couldn't go any further with us because her heart wasn't in it, after saying a bunch of stuff counter to that all of last week. I asked why and after going round a couple times she told me about her and Josh.

There are no words to describe how wronged I feel. I know the heart wants what it wants, and that none of this is my fault and there is nothing I could do to stop it, but damn if I can accept it. To be cut down by the closest friend I've ever had and to have a woman I can't stop loving be the reason is the most bitter pill I've ever swallowed. I'm not an irrational guy. I'm not going to do something I regret, but I do understand why empires have fallen over women now.

Writing this down is a bit cathartic. I'm not really looking for anything but a place to vent, as the one friend I had that I would talk to isn't really a friend after all these years and I'm feeling alone and really sad at 3 in the morning. Sorry to be a bummer, singles of ot... but I need your collective shoulders to cry on for a hot minute.


As quoted from another forum I frequent.
 
Thanks guys. I am completely in a daze. I actually swallowed my pride and reached out to the woman I was seeing. We have been texting all day and she has been an amazing friend to me, and I don't know why.
 
Hurts today but mark my words -

One day you're going to find that they both did you a favor.

Nothing better than watching two disloyal people make a show of it. Each of them now has an expert on the matter to deal with - just give it time.

As for loving forever - yes, absolutely.

That said, there are many different types of love, and it has a way of changing.

I've been right about the women I'd love forever. Still do. But oddly enough, not as much as my dog.

Wait and see - they both did you a favor.

And oh yeah - he who laughs last, laughs best.
 
Some times you have to let go of what is hurting you to find what can heal you. I hope this new girl is a strong and understanding enough woman to help you through this and bring you out on top.
 
Sorry 330D, no one should have to go through that. Let it out, we'll all be here for that hot minute if you need us.
 
EarlyMon said:
Hurts today but mark my words -

One day you're going to find that they both did you a favor.

Nothing better than watching two disloyal people make a show of it. Each of them now has an expert on the matter to deal with - just give it time.

As for loving forever - yes, absolutely.

That said, there are many different types of love, and it has a way of changing.

I've been right about the women I'd love forever. Still do. But oddly enough, not as much as my dog.

Wait and see - they both did you a favor.

And oh yeah - he who laughs last, laughs best.
Click to expand...

Early, thank you. You have always had a way with words that few possess. I guess we should know by your post count... :D

Anyway, there is much truth in that and in my mind I truly believe it, but my heart still aches. She is one of those rare women who truly can capture the heart of anyone she lets in.
 
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