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Opinion on Kid tracking apps
- Thread starter verizyou
- Start date
Part of me hopes that's a joke; but you can never be sure with you IOWA.
Vihzel
Destroying Balls Everyday
My opinion on this matter is that it varies from family to family. I, for one, have always been a good child *pats myself on the head*. I did very well in school, socialized with the right crowd (all now attending 4 year universities with several going to notables Berkeley, UCLA, and Ivy Leagues), and listened to my parents. They never felt the need to have to feel like tracking me or putting some kind of security because they trusted me. I had a great relationship with my parents and still do. They basically will give me whatever I feel is necessary for school or for my own life.
I feel like this would be good for those parents that don't trust their children, want to protect their children (as in a kidnapping of a 12 yr old girl for example), and just for the extra sense of security.
I will personally allow my child to have a cellphone when he/she is in middle school, so like 10 yrs old. I would definitely like to have that kind of app for my still young child. I think a lot of people are assuming that this app is for like 16 or 17 yr olds. I can't say whether a parent is going to use this for a child of that age, but for a 10 yr old, it would be a bit reckless to decide not to have that protective measure.
As a future father, I will do my best to protect my child, as I feel like it's my duty. If I feel like I can really trust or feel that my son/daughter will be safe by the time of entering high school, then I will stop using that app, as I understand his/her privacy. In the end though, he/she is my child and it was I who paid for the phone and allowed him/her to have the privilege to even have a phone.
I feel like this would be good for those parents that don't trust their children, want to protect their children (as in a kidnapping of a 12 yr old girl for example), and just for the extra sense of security.
I will personally allow my child to have a cellphone when he/she is in middle school, so like 10 yrs old. I would definitely like to have that kind of app for my still young child. I think a lot of people are assuming that this app is for like 16 or 17 yr olds. I can't say whether a parent is going to use this for a child of that age, but for a 10 yr old, it would be a bit reckless to decide not to have that protective measure.
As a future father, I will do my best to protect my child, as I feel like it's my duty. If I feel like I can really trust or feel that my son/daughter will be safe by the time of entering high school, then I will stop using that app, as I understand his/her privacy. In the end though, he/she is my child and it was I who paid for the phone and allowed him/her to have the privilege to even have a phone.
That's kinda how I feel. It's a tech. that isn't going away, and the harm comes only if the relationship between the users at both ends aren't accepting of it's use.
At the end of the day it is neither a total cure to a parents worries, nor is it a ball and chain round a child's leg; it's one piece of tech, that could be abused as easily as it can be found useful.
Those people who're against parents putting these apps on phones; would you think it was wrong for a parent to ask where their child was going to be?
Good child molesters thrive in just this type of environment. You don't know what they are saying to your kids. They will continually push your child just a little bit further, in conversation, and in action, and you will not know.
They will make your child feel too guilty to tell you, afraid to tell you, and too ashamed to tell you.
It's not just about what the kids are doing. It's also about what people are doing to your kids.
As an 8 year old, very strict and intrusive (my daughter is 8). As they get older, less so. I will still probably always peruse their text messages and such to make sure that they aren't being "groomed" or abused by a bf...(things that thrive when parents are kept in the dark).
I can understand this for an 18 year old, even a 16 year old, but not a 12 or 8 year old.
There is a point where you should be able to turn it off... but I don't agree with there NEVER being a point where you might need one.
You can't take how you should be treated as an 18 year old, and apply that to all ages. This same behavior would not be acceptable in a 12 year old, or an 8 year old. Children who have permission to be somewhere, also need permission to be somewhere else instead. Otherwise, they ARE in the wrong.
stainlessray
Android Enthusiast
well, personal stuff aside (i'll just say things weren't perfect), i think you are getting my point. It's not automatically BAD parenting when kids are not trustworthy. most people don't have perfect circumstances. even people with both parents present can attest to that. the question remains, do you think that a gps tracking phone could be useful? is it automatic that anyone who needs it, has fouled up beyond repair? or that the privacy of the child trumps the duty of the parent to use the resources available to help them in their effort?
i was using myself as an example, to make my point. only because your statement when i read it, seemed self righteous. it's not so black and white, that if you are a good parent, you couldn't possibly need this tool.
SB13X
Android Expert
stainlessray your the only one thats put the sentiment accross properly, however I'll embellish on the fact that bad parenting results in children being untrustworthy however beyond the ages of 12 and 13 children begin to turn into Teenagers with a lot more independent thought and begin to question everything/a lot more depending on their environment. This is when I would prefer the tracking system but I would use it on a 3 strikes basis. Say for example they do something stupid and get caught by myself, family or friends then I'll let it go for a couple of occasions especially if they are honest enough to admit it and apologise before I consider taking things further. However it would take only one occasion for the police to return them to my front door and I can assure you it would be more than a mere tracking system that I would employ.
stainlessray
Android Enthusiast
I think the debate on this is really good. i'm becoming fond of this thread. originally said i'd leave it.lol
well said. i think that's a very rational approach. gradual increments like you described is an excellent form of discipline. and the same goes in reverse, they have to be shown the way back to being trusted. giving them the means to earn both trust and responsibility back can not be overemphasized.
SIDE STORY: i had a boss a couple years ago. he had 5 kids. all but 1 was a college graduate, successful effective people. he explained to me how he showed him the road to "ice cream and cake" and warned him of the "road to crap" no sooner did he get some freedom as a teen, he was waiving his hand from the "road to crap". i don't know if a gps would have kept him off the road to crap, but knowing that guy, he would have tried it...
Frisco
=Luceat Lux Vestra=
One element of "bad parenting," in my opinion, is too often, overly stated suspicions.
The kids of those parents "learn" that s/he is, for practical purposes, pretty much expected to do things behind the parent's back.
The balance between that and full trust, I think, is in the behavior of the parents in day to day life, especially in the ways the parents talk about and interact with other people such as relatives, co-workers, store clerks, anybody in their lives that the kids can see.
I feel that it all adds up to the kids; it shapes their personality, including how they behave when adults are not around.
The kids of those parents "learn" that s/he is, for practical purposes, pretty much expected to do things behind the parent's back.
The balance between that and full trust, I think, is in the behavior of the parents in day to day life, especially in the ways the parents talk about and interact with other people such as relatives, co-workers, store clerks, anybody in their lives that the kids can see.
I feel that it all adds up to the kids; it shapes their personality, including how they behave when adults are not around.
ed_mcnasty
Newbie
I'm not applying my experiences to kids that young considering i didnt get my first phone until I was 15 and it was out of necessity. Nor did I say that the child in my scenario was right, I simply said it would cause a reaction greater than the logic of the situation called for. I'm not here to rip these apps, just point out the fine line between parenting and surveillience when using them.
kirbyland1986
Newbie
I am 24 years old and I'm not a parent but i have a fiance who doesnt tell me everything about what he is doing so i get home and find him not there i have to go through the option where he can be! so it kind of saying to me would i like to know where he is or let him get on and decide i dont want to know - and the answer is i kind of would but i want him to tell me and not have to spy on him! with children its a little different as they are much younger and they are yours to protect and a parent should be able to help them if needed!!! but would you want your children to know that your always watching them and not let them be independent and come to you when needed! so no i wouldnt put the app on their phone as they shouldnt have a parent monitoring them... the child will come to know that telling the parent is the best way for them to trust each other! - why not go out and not tell them and then see how they react - maybe that will get them to tell you where they are going!!! maybe... but no i wouldnt want to spy on my children or on my fiance i want to be able to trust them!!
I think this is a good example of what I meant before when I mentioned the relationship of the users.
What you say about a simple change of plan causing insecurity, wouldn't be a problem at all if the relationship between parent and child was understanding. If the parents explain to the child the sorts of worries they may have, then the child would know that if there was a change of plan, then it'd be courteous to fire a text off to mom to advise that 'long q, catching movie instead'. Likewise if mom texts 'Change of plan?' forgetful child doesn't take offense at innocent query.
Andy in NY
Well-Known Member
sounds like me as a kid... I'm seriously surprised i'm alive.
I have a few points I'd like to make. I am the parent of a 14 year old girl. We trust her, but she has her moment of judgement lapse. She is smart and makes smart choices most of the time. But a few situations were brought to light via us checking her texts that we may not have otherwise known about. One specific incident is that there was a discussion with her and a friend about the friend not being pregnant (thought she might have been). Now, we have had the sex talks with her. But this brought to light that the friends parent lets her leave the house without saying where she is going, thus leading her to her boyfriends house where there was no adult supervision. We know the friend and her parents, and they seem decent. "Do you make her tell you every time she leaves the house where she is going" is not usually a question you ask (although should...). Our daughter has been to her house before and apperantly to the friends boyfriends house as well.
Had we not checked her texts, we wouldn't have been the wiser. That sparked the "notify us whenever you are not where we last know you are" rule.
As for tracking apps, I think they could come in handy in certain situations, but not as a means of keeping tabs on your child.
One last thing, growing up in my house it was my parents house. They owned it and had the right to look through whatever they see fit. Just like the US government can when you enter the country, the police can if they have reason to suspect you have something illicit, as can your employer search any company computers, email, etc on company property. The reigning authority has the right to "explore" whatever it so chooses. Parents should also have that right. Until they turn 18 and move out, EVERYTHING is our business.
I wasn't talking about spying on texts or something like that. I was only talking about GPS tracking. That's what this thread is about, right?
I could argue that an 8 year old shouldn't even have a cell phone, for safety reasons such as getting calls and texts from predators, but that's a different matter altogether and I won't start that.
Anyway, GPS tracking can't control other people - even predators. It might show you that your child goes to a certain house everyday, but that house could be the child's best friend who just happens to have a guardian who is a a predator. You'd think they were safe when maybe they are not.
You can't control anybody nor can you protect your child from every threat. This is where the parent comes in. A good parent does their job of providing the child with the right tools to make the right decisions and think on their own. I know this type of parenting is dying, though.
My parents never had GPS phone tracking and not only did I survive, but I turned out to be an excellent human being - thanks to my parents! I was raised by a single mom because my parents were divorced. She was very involved in my life, but I know she trusted me enough to not have to spy on me. I will stick with my argument that GPS is not needed at any age for certain children. For others it's a different story.
Andy in NY
Well-Known Member
But to say it has no place in our society is bogus. It does if used properly. To say it abouldn't be allowed is very closed-minded. Sure, they didn't have it 10, 20, 50 or 500 years ago and we are still alive and well as a civilization. But does that mean that nothing bad has ever happened to anyone? GPS can play a role as a tracking device in our society. Unfortunatly (and proving you partially right) some parents will probably abuse it. Certain drugs help people; people also abuse those same drugs.
Give a little, take a little.
IOWA
Mr. Logic Pants
Gps tracking really isn't needed unless your a criminal. How would you feel if someone tracked your movements all day? That being said, its not wrong for a parent to install something on a childs phone that the parent owns. But that leads to problems in itself. If someone tried that on me, id purposely leave the phone at home or a friends house. Id have a second phone which prepaid are so cheap these days. Children are smarter than you think. I think a gps app would cause nothing but problems for all parties concerned, and if your child is bad enough that you think you need gps tracking, then he/she is bad enough to evade it as well.
Leave the cell phone, lose the cell phone. Period.
If I find another cell phone (and I WILL) then you get NO phone period for at least a month.
Trying to hide movements/conversations has SERIOUS consequences.
ed_mcnasty
Newbie
Isn't taking away the phone and consequently the tracking device the child's intended goal? If so you just gave them what they wanted.
Doing the right thing because you know you are being watched is not a sign of responsibility or trustworthiness. The only way to earn a parents trust and respect is to show that you are willing to do the right thing without big brother watching you. An example:
Some gangbanger is about to rob a liquor store. Just when he's going to do it a cop walks around the corner and takes a seat on a bench outside the store. The gangbanger decides not to rob the liquor store because he's being watched. Does that make him a responsible and trustworthy person? No. Now if there wasn't a cop and he knew he could get away with it but his conscience told him not to and he walked away, that would be a sign of responsibility.
Tracking your children doesn't teach them to be responsible. All it teaches them is to either play good when being watched, or try to circumvent the surveillance. Putting a camera on every street corner would only drive the crime to the alleys outside of view, not solve the problem.
By you, I mean everyone on this thread by the way; I'm not specifically directing this at you damewolf.
Frisco
=Luceat Lux Vestra=
The tracking lets you know where the phone is, not where the kid (or felon) is.
- Take phone to McDonald's where friend works and drop off phone.
- Go to rave party.
- After rave go back to McDonald's and pick up phone.
- Go home with McDonald's weird customer anecdotes for family enjoyment.
- Take phone to McDonald's where friend works and drop off phone.
- Go to rave party.
- After rave go back to McDonald's and pick up phone.
- Go home with McDonald's weird customer anecdotes for family enjoyment.
SB13X
Android Expert
Not really, as I'm guessing having no cell phone results in not being able to leave the house unless under supervision as parents should know where there kids are at all times. I wish parents of the children that come onto my train station drunk every night would be so proactive as taking their verbal abuse while trying to ensure they don't drunkenly end up on the track and then in a body bag, followed by being a stat in the local rag. Its only a matter of time.
I hope you're not referring to me because I didn't say it has no place in our society nor did I say it shouldn't be allowed.
That is a GREAT point!
ed_mcnasty
Newbie
Or go sit in a Wal-mart parking lot, smoke in the car and just people watch. You don't have to lie about where you are to do things you aren't supposed to be doing.
Maybe, I should be more clear.
They lose the cell phone, and their freedom. They DO NOT leave the house without direct parental supervision.
They also lose their only line of communication with their friends (we do not have a landline, and they sure as heck aren't using someone else's cell phone).
That's not very difficult to suss out believe it or not. And then the (you ditched your phone rule applies).
And no child likes the idea of being cut off from society for a month.