Tell me a joke...

[rootabaga]

And a lawyer joke:

A lawyer wakes up in a hospital room after cardiac surgery.
All the blinds are drawn.
He asks the nurse, "What's going on? Why are the blinds drawn?"

She replies, "Well, the building across the street is on fire, and we didn't want you to think the surgery was a failure!"

 

[The_Chief]

 

[olbriar]

 

[Unforgiven]

A blonde goes into a restaurant and notices there's a "peel and win" sticker on her coffee cup. So she's peels it off and starts screaming,"I've won a motor home! I've won a motor home!"

The waitress says, "That's impossible. The biggest prize is a free lunch."

But the blonde keeps screaming, "I've won a motor home! I've won a motor home!"

Finally, the manager comes over and says, "Ma'am, I'm sorry, but you're mistaken. You couldn't possibly have won a motor home because we didn't have that as a prize!"

The blonde says, "No it's not a mistake. I've won a motor home!"

She hands the ticket to the manager and he reads...“Win a Bagel”