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The idiot test

Once, unless you want to write it down a million times.


How can you add eight 8's together to make 1000?
 
Shazbad. I didn't know it could get so complicated. You're right. All I had was
888 + 88 + 8 + 8 + 8.

'Cheese and rice' from the other thread, nice. I must remember that one. Shazbad is my go to safe expletive.

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Corrected : cheeSe and rice, not Cheeze - lol :p
 
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Hard to find where to put the film in a wooden leg ;)

There were an electrician and a plumber waiting in line for admission to
the "International Home Show" One of them was the father of the other's son.
How could this be possible?
 
Yeppers
This one is a little out of the usual realm for this thread. It took me 3 days of poking at it to figure it out but that is more likely cuz I can be a little slow:

Ten Perfectly Rational Pirate Logicians (PRPLs) find 10 (indivisible) gold pieces and wish to distribute the booty among themselves.

The pirates each have a unique rank, from the captain on down. The captain puts forth the first plan to divide up the gold, whereupon the pirates (including the captain) vote. If at least half the pirates vote for the plan, it is enacted, and the gold is distributed accordingly. If the plan gets fewer than half the votes, however, the captain is killed, the second-in-command is promoted, and the process starts over. (They’re mutinous, these PRPLs.)

Pirates always vote by the following rules, with the earliest rule taking precedence in a conflict:

  1. Self-preservation: A pirate values his life above all else.
  2. Greed: A pirate seeks as much gold as possible.
  3. Bloodthirst: Failing a threat to his life or bounty, a pirate always votes to kill.
Under this system, how do the PRPLs divide up their gold?
 
Daniel Fernandes said:
2 pirates will remain, each getting 5 bars of gold?
Click to expand...

That was my interpretation too, but having cheated and found the source of the question, there's an extra hint. The pirates are aware of the three rules, and this foreknowledge influences their proposal on how to share the gold. What happens?
 
The three rules, in order of their importance, WILL govern how they make their decisions. here's an extra hint:

Think of it from the view of the lowest-ranked pirate and work up from there.

The lowest ranked pirate (we’ll call him P10 and work our way up to the captain, who’s P1) would love to have every other pirate die so he can take all 10 gold pieces for himself. He also has no threat to his life, because by the time he’s promoted to captain, it means everyone else is dead.
P9 would also love to have all pirates above him killed, because if it gets down to just himself and P10, he can allot all 10 gold pieces to himself and none to P10. The vote will end up 1-1 (P9 will vote in favor and P10 will vote against), and since half of the members voted for the plan, it’ll be enacted and P9 will not be killed. So he, too, has no threat to his life.
 
Two squirrels and a banana?
 
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I deleted my first unaided attempt in the post above, which was quite logical for an Irishman.
 
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Daniel Fernandes said:
So, 10 pirates will remain. The captain takes all the gold. He's the captain, nobody can kill him...
Click to expand...
The Captain can be killed if he loses more than half the votes. If he kept all the gold no one would vote on his side so he would be killed.

Second hint: Because of rule number one the captain will make certain to get at least half the votes and the only way to do that is utilizing rule number 2
 
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