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The (Official?) “I’m Married” Thread

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You don't get a sink. You have sink privileges, which are restricted based on toilet seat position.

Thankfully, we have a two-sink vanity with my stuff on my half and her stuff on her half. However, I'm ceaselessly on guard of the DMZ (the Defensive Marriage Zone) because her half seems to keep trying to get larger while my half shrinks... and I lovingly move her stuff back to her half...
 
We have a single sink vanity which I gave up all rights to when I married. My toiletries are in the cabinet above the toilet and I get the top drawer on the right. :) I know where my stuff is and it isn't messed with. I'm good with not having my stuff laying out and quickly accessible. After 50 years, I'm accustomed to no counter top space.
 
The Darling Bride keeps telling me I'm cheap (I'm not cheap... I'm frugal)

We recently traveled out of state for the weekend: I decided to forego the usual hotel and get a nice, romantic room at a B&B instead. It was surprisingly reasonable! Of course, we only found out why when we got there. In our nice, romantic room was a sign that said "Welcome to our bed & breakfast... you make both"

:oops:
 
"Hey quit hogging the sheets, hey you are putting your cold feet against my legs, hey now, what the monster is grabbing me underneath the bed?"
 
Wife: “Our new neighbor always kisses his wife when he leaves for work. Why don’t you do that?”

Husband: “How can I? I don’t even know her.”

Wife: "Oh what this is on your browser.. Then explain this, isn't your history clear?!"
 
An older couple, Fred and Ethel, adopts a dog.

Sometime later they’re visiting some old friends, Mike and Cindy, and when the wives are alone, Cindy asks Ethel how it is having a dog, and Ethel replies with the usual platitudes. Cindy then asks, “But you guys have a small place and not even a door on your bedroom. Doesn’t it weird you out to have the dog watch when you’re being intimate?”
Ethel replies, “Hon, the dog’s never seen that! I mean we’ve only had him a year!”
 
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