Some guys don't need to multiply anyway.
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The (Official?) “I’m Married” Thread
- Thread starter rootabaga
- Start date
Milo Williamson
Extreme Android User
Just probably web sites or apps for me, no expensive children.
BrickHouse
Android Expert
I'll never get the idea of that being something ANYONE would willingly endure. I was kicked so hard as an early teen that one was ruptured. Now it hurts with some of the slightest touches.
I respectfully refer to Buddy Hackett's infamous duck joke:
BrickHouse
Android Expert
Good 'ol Buddy, among some of the great classics. So many versions of all three of those classics tales have been shared. Often enjoyed his twist on things.
Milo Williamson
Extreme Android User
Well I typed up around 500 for my poetry,Which websites exactly 🤔 😏
then I shut it down,
the last one I lent out was a weebly one,
the site design was so easy a child can do it,
all it is just drag and drop.
Milo Williamson
Extreme Android User
No wonder the traffic jumped at one point to 1.9K hits per day hahaa.Ok, so the Granny porn sites, got it
I kind of have a blue hair fetish myself
One thing an old sailor knows about is slammin' grannies. They don't swell, they don't tell and they're grateful as hell 
IHateMyTreo
Android Expert
The only cow in a small town in Ireland was aging and stopped giving milk.
The townfolk learned that they could buy a cow in Scotland quite cheaply. So, they brought the cow over from Scotland.
It was absolutely wonderful, it produced lots of milk every day and everyone was happy. They even bought a bull to mate with the cow to get more cows, so they'd never have to worry about their milk supply again.
They put the bull in the pasture with the cow... but whenever the bull tried to mount the cow, the cow would move away. No matter what approach the bull tried, the cow would move away from the bull and he was never able to do the deed.
The people were very upset and decided to consult the vet, who was very wise, tell him what was happening and ask his advice.
"Whenever the bull tries to mount our cow, she moves away.
If he approaches from the back, she moves forward.
When he approaches her from the front, she backs off.
If he attempts it from the one side, she walks away to the other side."
The vet rubbed his chin thoughtfully and pondered this before asking, "Did you by chance, get this cow from Scotland?"
The people were dumbfounded, since no one had ever mentioned that they had brought the cow over from Scotland.
"You are truly a wise vet," they said. "How did you know we got the cow from Scotland?"
The vet replied with a distant look in his eye: "My wife is from Scotland..."
The townfolk learned that they could buy a cow in Scotland quite cheaply. So, they brought the cow over from Scotland.
It was absolutely wonderful, it produced lots of milk every day and everyone was happy. They even bought a bull to mate with the cow to get more cows, so they'd never have to worry about their milk supply again.
They put the bull in the pasture with the cow... but whenever the bull tried to mount the cow, the cow would move away. No matter what approach the bull tried, the cow would move away from the bull and he was never able to do the deed.
The people were very upset and decided to consult the vet, who was very wise, tell him what was happening and ask his advice.
"Whenever the bull tries to mount our cow, she moves away.
If he approaches from the back, she moves forward.
When he approaches her from the front, she backs off.
If he attempts it from the one side, she walks away to the other side."
The vet rubbed his chin thoughtfully and pondered this before asking, "Did you by chance, get this cow from Scotland?"
The people were dumbfounded, since no one had ever mentioned that they had brought the cow over from Scotland.
"You are truly a wise vet," they said. "How did you know we got the cow from Scotland?"
The vet replied with a distant look in his eye: "My wife is from Scotland..."
IHateMyTreo
Android Expert
After 34 years of marriage with her, my only hope is to enjoy another 34 years of marriage with her. THANK YOU, Darling Bride, for the privilege of loving and pampering you every day.
IHateMyTreo
Android Expert
BrickHouse
Android Expert
This is true for my sister-in-law.
True fact: she is the only person I know that has caught a pan of water on fire.
IHateMyTreo
Android Expert
Clint Eastwood on marriage