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The Punny Side of Life
- Thread starter rootabaga
- Start date
This hurt just pasting it...
2 guys are on a boat with 3 cigarettes but nothing to light them with. So they throw one cigarette overboard and the boat becomes a cigarette lighter.
2 guys are on a boat with 3 cigarettes but nothing to light them with. So they throw one cigarette overboard and the boat becomes a cigarette lighter.
BrickHouse
Android Expert
I wonder if that also means it will span the width of a vacation or sick leave .....
Notes_Norton
Android Expert
I've been locked out for a while. I missed y'all. While I was gone, I collected a few “new” ones (Are there any new puns?)
Waitress: How did you find your steak, Sir?
I just looked next to the potatoes and there it was.
How much room does fungi need to grow?
As mushroom as it takes.
I visited my doctor today, he told me that I’m going deaf.
That was difficult to hear.
One day, a housework challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to his wife, “What setting do I use on the washing machine?” “It depends,” she replied. “What does it say on your shirt?”
Proudly, he yelled back, “Chicago Bears!”
Where is the best place to sell a used chess set?
At a pawn shop.
Fact of Life: After Monday & Tuesday Even the Calendar says W T F
Man who run in front of car get tired.
Man who run behind car get exhausted.
Waitress: How did you find your steak, Sir?
I just looked next to the potatoes and there it was.
How much room does fungi need to grow?
As mushroom as it takes.
I visited my doctor today, he told me that I’m going deaf.
That was difficult to hear.
One day, a housework challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to his wife, “What setting do I use on the washing machine?” “It depends,” she replied. “What does it say on your shirt?”
Proudly, he yelled back, “Chicago Bears!”
Where is the best place to sell a used chess set?
At a pawn shop.
Fact of Life: After Monday & Tuesday Even the Calendar says W T F
Man who run in front of car get tired.
Man who run behind car get exhausted.
Welcome back Notes. You were missed!!
Notes_Norton
Android Expert
Notes_Norton
Android Expert
I told my girlfriend she drew her eyebrows too high.
She seemed surprised.
She seemed surprised.
Notes_Norton
Android Expert
LOL I actually got an invitation to join MENSA... and I replied, saying that when the group puts their collective brain power together to actually solve problems like world hunger and homelessness, instead of just creating puzzles to prove to each other how clever they are, let me know.
I never heard from them.
I never heard from them.
Notes_Norton
Android Expert
I'm glad I know sign language - it's pretty handy.
Notes_Norton
Android Expert
Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda?
He was lucky it was a soft drink.
He was lucky it was a soft drink.
Notes_Norton
Android Expert
Tequila may not fix your life, but it's worth a shot.
Notes_Norton
Android Expert
Notes_Norton
Android Expert
Notes_Norton
Android Expert
The shovel was a ground-breaking invention.
