The Punny Side of Life

[lunatic59]

Is this a pun?

fee-fee-fo fi-fo-fee fo-fo-fe-fi

Spoiler

Mike Tyson's phone number.

 

[Unforgiven]

 

[lunatic59]

A Cheyenne brave wanted to marry a Chippewa squaw, but the tribal elders refused based on the fact that the Cheyenne live in teepees and the Chippewa live in Wigwams. It would have been two tents.

 

[dontpanicbobby]

Maybe you were on Ambien?

I gave up Barbiturates after that incident.

I'd rather have a barbie in front of me than bars around me.

 

[Unforgiven]

Probably a rerun...

 

[Zigman66]

^^^^^^^^ I don't see anything

Probably a rerun...

 

[Zigman66]

Now I see it. Wonder what happened

A young man walked into an insurance office to purchase coverage for his new motorcycle. Only one question confused him. "Do you have a lien holder

on the vehicle?"

"I've got a kickstand," the prospect replied. "Is that the same thing?"

 

[Zigman66]

THAT's using yer noodle!

 

[Zigman66]

Driving to work, a gentleman had to swerve to avoid a box that fell out of a truck in front of him.

Seconds later, two policemen came by. While one pulled the gentleman over, the second carefully stopped traffic and recovered the box so as to avoid any further mishaps. When they opened the box, they found it contained large upholstery tacks.

"I'm sorry sir," the first trooper told the driver, "but I'm going to have to arrest you."

Amazed, the driver asked, "For what??"

The trooper replied, "Tacks evasion."

 

[dontpanicbobby]

Impastas earns a groaner.

 

[Zigman66]

Have you heard about the pharmaceutical company that developed a new drug which, when administered to women, compels them to go join a convent?

The FDA refused to license it. Seems it was habit forming.

 

[dontpanicbobby]

Weak.

 

[Zigman66]

ok, ok.. last one for the day:

I have a sore throat, Doctor. I ache, I have a fever."

"Sounds like a virus."

"Everyone in the office has it."

"Well then, maybe it's a staff infection.

 

[Zigman66]

I lied. NOW it's the last one for the day:

Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted

 

[lunatic59]

Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted

I lied. NOW it's the last one for the day:

No. You were right the first time.

 

[Zigman66]

I see how it is. Fine. NOW ya get one more

When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U.C.L.A.

 

[Member2035261]

 

[olbriar]

 

[olbriar]

 

[olbriar]

 

[Zigman66]

There has to be smore to life than this

 

[Zigman66]

Wow. Who knew some puns could actually be painful?? ^^^^^^^^

 

[shalemail]

If I told you I could cut wood in half with one look, would you believe me?
Regardless, it's true, I saw it with my own eyes.

 

[Zigman66]

Oh, good gravy! You 2 are awful!

 

[Member2035261]

(poor pun joke in the wrong thread, lol I was tired last night)

here's a nice picture instead :

Oh Heck this is the pun thread. I need a phone with a 22' screen.