BrickHouse
Android Expert
The mop said you're all wet and the sponge just wants you wipe things out. But not to worry, the dish cloth will clean up while the trash can keeps things to himself.
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The Punny Side of Life
- Thread starter rootabaga
- Start date
The mop said you're all wet and the sponge just wants you wipe things out. But not to worry, the dish cloth will clean up while the trash can keeps things to himself.
Notes_Norton
Android Expert
The TV said "Watch it." The radio said, "Don't listen to the TV, listen to me instead."
D
Deleted User
Guest
Young dude got virus?
Well, wunce you make ur bed, ya gotta lie.
Innit?
Well, wunce you make ur bed, ya gotta lie.
Innit?
Milo Willamson
Android Expert
Doorbell only ring a few times, but it mostly kept quiet. The electric cordes have a bit estatic personality to them, but always seem too long to babble anyways, also the lightbulb is never too bright on subjects that come out hand.
D
Deleted User
Guest
Well, if you got that far down and it still drives....
BrickHouse
Android Expert
Looks Like a wild ride.
D
Deleted User
Guest
wrong thread though. Meant Weird & Ambiguous. Woopsie!
Davdi
Android Expert
@rootabaga Well anyway they'd have a whale of a time. Okay, I know it's a sharking pun, but if you're hard of herring you can have it in whiting if you like.
Notes_Norton
Android Expert
What do you call a doctor who treats retired soldiers?
A veteran-arian.
A veteran-arian.
rootabaga
Android Expert
I think you're fishing for a like...
rootabaga
Android Expert
I was in a used-book store recently and picked up a well-worn copy of a book entitled "Surgical Basics." I got home and regrettably discovered that the appendix was missing...
D
Deleted User
Guest
Apple are close to bringing out their first electric car. They're having trouble installing windows.
(I don't write 'em)
(I don't write 'em)
Notes_Norton
Android Expert
My new theory on inertia doesn't seem to be gaining momentum.
Notes_Norton
Android Expert
Notes_Norton
Android Expert
Headine:
Hang glider crashed in large cemetery - hundreds found dead.
Hang glider crashed in large cemetery - hundreds found dead.
BrickHouse
Android Expert
Must've been a huge hang glider.
Notes_Norton
Android Expert
I think the hundreds dead where already there
Cemeteries are partially filled.
Notes_Norton
Android Expert
I’ve been saying “mucho” to my Hispanic friend a lot more often lately. It means a lot to him.
rootabaga
Android Expert
My favorite cemetery joke/pun...
When Beethoven passed away, he was buried in a churchyard. A couple days later, the town drunk was walking through the cemetery and heard some strange noise coming from the area where Beethoven was buried. Terrified, the drunk ran and got the priest to come and listen to it. As they neared Beethoven's stone the priest heard some faint and sort of familiar, but unrecognizable music coming from the grave. Frightened, the priest ran and got the town magistrate.
When the magistrate arrived, he bent his ear to the grave, listened for a moment, and said, "Ah, yes, that's Beethoven's Ninth Symphony, being played backwards."
He listened a while longer, and said, "There's the Eighth Symphony, and it's backwards, too. Most puzzling." So the magistrate kept listening; "There's the Seventh... the Sixth... the Fifth..."
Suddenly the realization of what was happening dawned on the magistrate; he stood up and announced to the crowd that had gathered in the cemetery, "My fellow citizens, there's nothing to worry about. It's just Beethoven de-composing."
When Beethoven passed away, he was buried in a churchyard. A couple days later, the town drunk was walking through the cemetery and heard some strange noise coming from the area where Beethoven was buried. Terrified, the drunk ran and got the priest to come and listen to it. As they neared Beethoven's stone the priest heard some faint and sort of familiar, but unrecognizable music coming from the grave. Frightened, the priest ran and got the town magistrate.
When the magistrate arrived, he bent his ear to the grave, listened for a moment, and said, "Ah, yes, that's Beethoven's Ninth Symphony, being played backwards."
He listened a while longer, and said, "There's the Eighth Symphony, and it's backwards, too. Most puzzling." So the magistrate kept listening; "There's the Seventh... the Sixth... the Fifth..."
Suddenly the realization of what was happening dawned on the magistrate; he stood up and announced to the crowd that had gathered in the cemetery, "My fellow citizens, there's nothing to worry about. It's just Beethoven de-composing."
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Notes_Norton
Android Expert
Some people go into martial arts just for kicks.