Speed Daemon
Android Expert
They were already doing some mighty pride-obliterating stuff to him like catheters and such. He was a West Texas plainsman who had been a dirt farmer, fought in World War I, raised four children during the Great Depression, been his county's Selective Service "buffer" during World War II (sending lots of farm hands to war, not a popular job) and survived esophageal cancer that was supposed to kill him within 6 months when he was my age. He was a real-life tough guy underneath his soft-spoken demeanor. He was also one helluva role model!
In the house that he had built and built onto, there were so many different levels that it wasn't really practical to use the wheelchair to get from room to room. He was probably better off keeping active while he could. When they put him into the nursing home (with lots of flat floor space), he used the thing. But it was his final illness, and it had its own rules.
I've been dealing with that myself. My mom is getting increasingly deaf, and instead of getting help, she's content to invent stories in her mind based on what she imagines what she hears. Her whole life has been about others holding her in high regard, one part of her personality disorder according to the psychiatrist. So no hearing aid, and no adult diapers when her bladder frequently lets go. She can't bear to be seen wearing the things, although (at least to me) the alternative of sudden public urination must be even worse. Oh well. My only surviving aunt is as deaf as a post, and I think she likes the peace and quiet. :laugh:She had been deaf in her left ear since early childhood, and the hearing in her right ear began declining a few years ago. We went for testing and everything, and she was fitted with a state-of-the-art TINY hearing aid--you really couldn't see it unless you were like 6 inches away and actively LOOKING for it in her ear--but she refused to wear it. Vanity, plain and simple. She preferred to trade HEARING better for not being 'embarrassed' by wearing a hearing aid.
I have tinnitus and hearing loss in my right ear after being kicked in the head. I'm not getting any help with that. I'd do anything to turn off the constant screaming sound!
Oh well. But really, on days--like today--where I feel okay and am not moping around sobbing all day, I wonder if I should feel guilty. Then I remember that Mom didn't want me moping around sobbing after she was gone. So I guess it is okay. I can see how your brother handled it the way he did, because it really is such an individual process. My cousin has said a few times that Mom's death is "the end of an era" and it really is--between her and me, ALL our parents are now gone. Her mom died totally unexpectedly at only 48, which was shocking beyond description. By comparison, having months to prepare for my mom's death was so much easier. Still, though, death is death...and there's no way to know how anyone will react.
