Thanks for the song, Rico. (Now I'm sobbing again.)
-
After 15+ years, we've made a big change: Android Forums is now Early Bird Club. Learn more here.
MoodyBlues' Mother
- Thread starter Speed Daemon
- Start date
Rico ANDROID
Android Expert
Awe, MB. its ok. I knew the song is touching and I tear up every time I hear it even today. But one thing for sure, that song was about regrets and when its too late to tell someone you love them unconditionally, in the living years. You were yor moms 'right arm', yep, we all still had some disagreements in times past, but we can say we 'were there' for our moms through it all. You have no regrets even though the words are still very effecive.
I'm REALLY upset now. The funeral director finally called back...the shirt is gone. The instructions to RETURN IT TO ME are in plain writing on the document I signed, but she said that somehow it was overlooked...so the shirt was cremated along with my mother. I am not happy. 
argedion
The TechnoFrog
I'm REALLY upset now. The funeral director finally called back...the shirt is gone. The instructions to RETURN IT TO ME are in plain writing on the document I signed, but she said that somehow it was overlooked...so the shirt was cremated along with my mother. I am not happy.
sorry for the loss of the shirt.
I'm REALLY upset now. The funeral director finally called back...the shirt is gone. The instructions to RETURN IT TO ME are in plain writing on the document I signed, but she said that somehow it was overlooked...so the shirt was cremated along with my mother. I am not happy.
Hey, I hope that she'll be wearing it in heaven.
I'm REALLY upset now. The funeral director finally called back...the shirt is gone. The instructions to RETURN IT TO ME are in plain writing on the document I signed, but she said that somehow it was overlooked...so the shirt was cremated along with my mother. I am not happy.
hey moodyblues,
sorry to hear about the shirt.......just remember to:
I was so upset about the shirt that my husband is going to call the funeral director and talk to her, too. We don't know WHAT we expect, or even what he'll say, but we just felt that SOMETHING needed to be said. I cannot understand how a place that's in the business of honoring last wishes could screw up like this. It was just a shirt, but I wanted it back. And that was plainly written on the paperwork.
mysticspiral
Android Expert
I was so upset about the shirt that my husband is going to call the funeral director and talk to her, too. We don't know WHAT we expect, or even what he'll say, but we just felt that SOMETHING needed to be said. I cannot understand how a place that's in the business of honoring last wishes could screw up like this. It was just a shirt, but I wanted it back. And that was plainly written on the paperwork.
I am so sorry to hear this . Im glad that you guys are gonna say something and not just let it go .
Rico ANDROID
Android Expert
Sorry to hear of that mixup MoodyBlues, i hope they can compensate for the mistake.
Thanks. We felt the need to say something, even though we have no idea what.
The thing is, there's NOTHING that can be done. There are no "do overs" in a situation like this--the shirt is now ashes, and nothing's going to put it back together. I am not a litigious person at all, but I told my husband last night that I could see suing them for $1, just to make a point.
I know there's the Department of Consumer Affairs, Cemetery and Funeral Bureau (which is linked to on the mortuary's web site), and I can file a complaint there, but I really just want to make sure this doesn't happen again to someone else.
Rico ANDROID
Android Expert
And like you've said, they are in the business for caring. And especially for honoring last wishes and preserving keepsakes in memory of... keep us posted on what happens. It sure was careless of them.
Speed Daemon
Android Expert
Make that $1 plus legal expenses.
I just finished up with a series of "Come to Jesus" meetings with the staff of the facility where my mom lives, about thefts, improper removal of property, use of property without consent etc. in my mom's room that nobody's willing to take responsibility for. It had to be done, but there were no winners. But someone has to stand up and say "this is unacceptable".
Yes, very good point.
Good for you! You're being a good son by advocating for your mom.
How about installing a 'nanny cam' in her room?
Speed Daemon
Android Expert
As a matter of fact, Mom is now "on Skype" as far as anyone (including her) is concerned. I didn't feel it was necessary for me to tell anyone that I could turn the camera on at will to monitor what's going on there.How about installing a 'nanny cam' in her room?
Rico ANDROID
Android Expert
SpeedD, ive been away last few days, sound like there were some incident with your moms that you had to take care of. I hope that skypecam corrected the issue.
Hey MB, hows your day going? I hope much better. (we just had a death this morning, a cousin figting 'c' lost the battle)
Hey MB, hows your day going? I hope much better. (we just had a death this morning, a cousin figting 'c' lost the battle)
I'm doing okay. Thanks for asking, Rico.
I was--and still am--so upset about the mortuary cremating Mom's shirt...I just felt kicked in the gut. My husband did call and speak to the funeral director. She apologized profusely, and told him that once they'd realized what they'd done, they had a very long staff meeting to discuss it. He said that she sounded genuinely embarrassed and apologetic. She said she knew that doing something like sending me flowers wouldn't make it better. No, it wouldn't. I'm so sorry. How are you doing?
Rico ANDROID
Android Expert
I'm doing okay. Thanks for asking, Rico.
I'm so sorry. How are you doing?
Im glad your husband got stern with them about it..and you KNOW if you shorted the pay or some other fees owed the funeral home, they wouldnt accept 'flowers', no, they would demand just so. i wonder how many blunders that home gets hit with. They should know better especially when its in a contract, specifically calling for specific arrangements, services and return of properties, no less than that. Now i am gettn heated over that.
We are there for our aunt (cousin's mom) and for her children. She had two, the poor little things. Yup this willbe one year to remember.
Hey, you keep hanging in there. I am glad husb is there or via phone, to help settle things. Might be offline or not able to chat for a few days...thats where weve been. We knew it was close.
330D
From My Cold Dead Hands
I have realized in the past couple of years how much loss and death are so intertwined into life. As sad and difficult it is to deal with either, it is natural, and to be expected. We are never prepared, no matter how much we try, when the actual moment comes.
I have had more than my share of loss and I think this perspective has helped me to get through it. I just try and remember that it is inevitable, and that we have no control over whether it is our time or not. A letting go of sorts...
My thoughts are with you and yours, Rico, and also with you MB... Here's to a life well lived on both counts.
I have had more than my share of loss and I think this perspective has helped me to get through it. I just try and remember that it is inevitable, and that we have no control over whether it is our time or not. A letting go of sorts...
My thoughts are with you and yours, Rico, and also with you MB... Here's to a life well lived on both counts.
Rico ANDROID
Android Expert
I have realized in the past couple of years how much loss and death are so intertwined into life. As sad and difficult it is to deal with either, it is natural, and to be expected. We are never prepared, no matter how much we try, when the actual moment comes.
I have had more than my share of loss and I think this perspective has helped me to get through it. I just try and remember that it is inevitable, and that we have no control over whether it is our time or not. A letting go of sorts...
My thoughts are with you and yours, Rico, and also with you MB... Here's to a life well lived on both counts.
Thanks, 330D, looks like, as of lately, we all have , or will, face this fact with a family member. Althogh my recent family emerg. is loss of a cousin, the loss of ones mother, and someone youve dedicated a large part of your life caring for an aging and sick parent hits home much closer, but, death is dearlth, it hurts.
My posts primarily is to contribute as much as i can to see MB along her way like the rest of those in this thread. But to any of you going through this, or about to, you are not alone.
Yeah, we really felt that something else needed to be said about it. I was so shell-shocked the day I spoke to the funeral director, and she told me about the shirt, that I just kept repeating "I don't know what to say..." So I ended the call but felt there was unfinished business. I'm so glad my husband called. We didn't know what he'd say, but he just winged it.
I know! I'm sure if I owed them one penny they would've withheld my mom's ashes until that penny had been paid.
I still cannot understand how they could screw up this badly. I mean, don't they LOOK at the paperwork before proceeding? And this place has been in business forever (I think since the 1800s).
You're not the only one! As it continues to sink in, what I'm finding is that everybody is getting more upset about it. My cousin said last night that I ought to demand some monetary compensation...but the thing is, money won't bring back the shirt.
I'm glad you're there for your aunt. This must be awful for her. She's lucky to have someone so kind and caring as you are.
Don't forget to take care of yourself, too. It's TOUGH dealing with the death of a loved one.
Rico ANDROID
Android Expert
Returned back home , funeral was yesterday. sad and at the same time helps to know she wasn't in pain anymore.
Moodie, how are you and what new things have you tried this week! You MUST try a 42oz and a Pigs Feet combo! I guarantee you, you'll remember that combo the rest of your days! XD
Moodie, how are you and what new things have you tried this week! You MUST try a 42oz and a Pigs Feet combo! I guarantee you, you'll remember that combo the rest of your days! XD
It's such a weird mix of emotions, isn't it? Happiness that she's not suffering any more, but sadness that she's gone.
I'm slowly trying to return to the living!
I've been taking my camera outside with me and sitting on my patio again--I've gotten some great shots of hummingbirds at the feeder; I've planted several packets of seeds in my flower beds; I did a load of laundry! I'm planning on meeting up with my daughter in a few weeks in Palm Springs--there's a photo industry event that happens there every year, and she always attends. The last few years I couldn't go--first I was recovering from my brain tumor/craniotomy, the next year I was sick with something else, the next year I was caring for Mom... So I'm going, and I'm REALLY looking forward to it. I realized that in my entire lifetime, despite having been to Palm Springs countless times, I've NEVER driven out there alone. It's 100 miles from here, and I love driving, but it'll just be strange not having anyone with me on the way. I need to remember to keep my lead foot in check. I'm sure I would! Ugh. First of all, 42 ounces of WHAT?! Second, pigs feet?! Even BEFORE I turned vegetarian I wouldn't have eaten pigs feet!
Glad you're home Rico; please take good care of yourself.
Rico ANDROID
Android Expert
Rofl over the pigs feet part.... i eat meats but wont bite into one of those either. But sure needed that laugh. Yes it is rather a mix. I can feel literaly what i saw in the faces of her children while there. I just held them and let them 'know' even without words at times that we are family and will see them through. The daughter could not bear to go into the main auditorium until they closed the viewing. She want to remember her moms face, smiling she said. I did the same back then..i knew where she was coming from.
Hey did i ever mention i used to have a stormchaser team or group of crazy friends, and i took most of the pics...this was 1990ish and we used to enter s0me shots in a festival in austin annually....good ole days...and that was after my moms, so, despite the recent loss, you got some good days and yrs ahead, go to the picture exhibit and let us know how the Palms went.
And i appreciate your words above, again it helped knowing we are not alone and at the same time, are human wjen we do go through a rollercoaster.....it helps me forget the androdian side of me.
Hey did i ever mention i used to have a stormchaser team or group of crazy friends, and i took most of the pics...this was 1990ish and we used to enter s0me shots in a festival in austin annually....good ole days...and that was after my moms, so, despite the recent loss, you got some good days and yrs ahead, go to the picture exhibit and let us know how the Palms went.
And i appreciate your words above, again it helped knowing we are not alone and at the same time, are human wjen we do go through a rollercoaster.....it helps me forget the androdian side of me.
Yesterday I did something for the first time--but it won't be the last. Recently two matching mailings arrived, one for Mom and one for me--they're our newest disabled placards. Yesterday, I wrote the word 'Deceased' on an envelope for the first time, putting Mom's envelope in the mailbox for the mail carrier to pick up, so it can be returned to the DMV. I figured I had to start somewhere, so might as well be the DMV.
Rico ANDROID
Android Expert
Yesterday I did something for the first time--but it won't be the last. Recently two matching mailings arrived, one for Mom and one for me--they're our newest disabled placards. Yesterday, I wrote the word 'Deceased' on an envelope for the first time, putting Mom's envelope in the mailbox for the mail carrier to pick up, so it can be returned to the DMV. I figured I had to start somewhere, so might as well be the DMV.
Thats a good place to start. I had to start with several monthly service bills that were in her name.
Oh, and speaking of going out to the DMV....
[Youtube]XYz0eoU5fLg[/media]