A nephew who really needs some discipline

[Vihzel]

To this day I don't call anyone older than me by their first name unless they call me by my first name first. I don't just presume to be on a first name basis with someone I've just met. To me that's kind of rude. I expect people in the service industry to address me at Mr. Nonymous for example.

Times are definitely changing with the formalities of names in the U.S. In other countries, like South Korea, not so much. It's becoming more common for adults to call each other by their first names, even in business. Of course it would be polite to refer to a superior as Mr., Mrs., Ms., etc. to be safe until they say it's ok to use the first name.

I remember before going to my friend's Christmas party last year with all of his uncles and aunts there and no one used "aunt" or "uncle". The only familial words used were "grandma" and "grandpa". I was a caught off guard because in my family, it's purely family titles (in Korean, it's not just aunt or uncle as it's more complex depending on age, side of family, and marriage).

 

[KENNECTED]

Are you an adult or a minor? I would be a bit miffed if my nieces didn't call me Uncle so and so. If they were over 18, it might be different. I would never ever call my parents by their first names. I was raised kind of old school I must admit. To this day I don't call anyone older than me by their first name unless they call me by my first name first. I don't just presume to be on a first name basis with someone I've just met. To me that's kind of rude. I expect people in the service industry to address me at Mr. Nonymous for example.

I'm an adult. I was raised old school. However, my aunts and uncles with exception to 2 always let us, use their first names.

My nephews and nieces dont call me "uncle" and I dont want them too. I'm too young looking to have nephews and nieces!

 

[zuben el genub]

Sometimes children using first names for adults is OK - our church did that to everyone in the congregation.

I don't like titles. I have nieces and nephews and none of them called me aunt. We were too close in age.

I had second cousins close to my mother's age or older. Too close for mrs, and not an aunt. So it might look disrespectful, but isn't.

 

[A.Nonymous]

Maybe it's a cultural thing. I'm Asian so I wouldn't dream of calling my aunts/uncles by their first names ever.

I never understood the reasoning with kids thing. Yes, kids need to know the reason why they're being punished. No argument there. That's as far as the reasoning ever went. My parents made it very clear what they expected of us and also made the consequences of misbehavior very clear as well. There was no reasoning. You chose one or the other.

 

[KENNECTED]

Maybe it's a cultural thing. I'm Asian so I wouldn't dream of calling my aunts/uncles by their first names ever.

I never understood the reasoning with kids thing. Yes, kids need to know the reason why they're being punished. No argument there. That's as far as the reasoning ever went. My parents made it very clear what they expected of us and also made the consequences of misbehavior very clear as well. There was no reasoning. You chose one or the other.

We didn't have "choices" in my parents house. It was their way or out! Period!

 

[chismay]

i can relate i once caught my nephew about to blow an air horn into his 6month old sister ear.....i didnt hold back in front of the parents that day ill tell ya. i could go into this in a 1000000000,000000 word rant but im not gonna waste your time,. ;D

 

[gallandof]

i can relate i once caught my nephew about to blow an air horn into his 6month old sister ear.....i didnt hold back in front of the parents that day ill tell ya. i could go into this in a 1000000000,000000 word rant but im not gonna waste your time,. ;D

if i saw my nephew about to do that id probably tackle him. he's probably too young to fully understand how dangerous what he was about to do really was.

 

[Agape]

When I go visit my parents, if I utter a curse word I still get the stern eye and a warning. I don't give my parents attitude out of the respect that they demanded when I was a kid that I didn't know they deserved until I was an adult.

I still call my aunts and uncles by 'aunt' or 'uncle'. Mom and dad are just that, Ma and Da. I hold the door open for my elders. I help when I can. I am courteous out of reflex because I know if my mother was there and I didn't, she'd smack me for it. But I love my parents dearly and I can't imagine them bringing me up the same way in today's world. I'm not saying they're perfect and nor was their method, but by golly-- it'd worked.

That kid needs some time with my parents. They'd sort him out in a heartbeat.

 

[Steven58]

Sounds like a mental/behavioral issue to me. This isn't normal "bad kid" behavior. I haven't read through all the comments, but I did glance.

Having been a parent who has experienced some of this first-hand, you can be assured of the fact that the parents are hurting inside about the behavior of their child, even if they don't show it. What they need is not judgement, but help, guidance and understanding.

if a child as an oppositional/defiance disorder, the last thing that you do with them is smack them with a spoon. It only feeds the problem. If you really cared about the situation and want to be a support and not a source of condemnation to the parents, I would do some research on the subject, yourself and then speak to the parents, if you feel that you can help them. You can become an ear to listen to their hurt. (I'm sure it's there, whether they show it or not).

Other than that, there's really nothing you can do. If you don't want to bother with it, just don't have them over anymore.

 

[Vihzel]

Oh what wisdom you have Yoda. I completely agree! That's why I suggested if there's perhaps a medical condition component and to make sure to see that he either has one or doesn't have one.

 

[dan330]

there are some medical issues with some individuals. some way to small/medical to bother.

i think
in todays environment..
to many grab the "its medical disorder" and throw drugs at it!

more than 70% of the kids on drugs can be handled with good old discipline.. hard love discipline.

telling them .. its not their fault.. take some drugs to fix it...
just opens another can of worms...

 

[KENNECTED]

Sounds like a mental/behavioral issue to me. This isn't normal "bad kid" behavior. I haven't read through all the comments, but I did glance.

Having been a parent who has experienced some of this first-hand, you can be assured of the fact that the parents are hurting inside about the behavior of their child, even if they don't show it. What they need is not judgement, but help, guidance and understanding.

if a child as an oppositional/defiance disorder, the last thing that you do with them is smack them with a spoon. It only feeds the problem. If you really cared about the situation and want to be a support and not a source of condemnation to the parents, I would do some research on the subject, yourself and then speak to the parents, if you feel that you can help them. You can become an ear to listen to their hurt. (I'm sure it's there, whether they show it or not).

Other than that, there's really nothing you can do. If you don't want to bother with it, just don't have them over anymore.

I dont quite buy this. A sibling would tell his/her siblings that he/she has a child with a disorder. In order to diagnos and see if it's a genetic issues, they would most likely alert their parents and siblings.

Again, I think the parents needs parenting courses. and the child need needs a full evaluation.

Although I stand by the old say, "spare the rode, spoil the child". I was spanked and punished and I turned out just fine!

....again, you want the kid straightened out, send him to me!

 

[droidbaby]

worked at a store before, the owner's 10 year old kid spits on his nanny's food with the mother in sight. mother said "don't do that" in a very very mild mannered and voice. i quit the following day, ain't no way i'm staying in there.

btw, this mother/family is very religious Christians... you'd think they'd drill 1,000,000 godly manners on the brat.

 

[gvillager]

worked at a store before, the owner's 10 year old kid spits on his nanny's food with the mother in sight. mother said "don't do that" in a very very mild mannered and voice. i quit the following day, ain't no way i'm staying in there.

btw, this mother/family is very religious Christians... you'd think they'd drill 1,000,000 godly manners on the brat.

This kid deserves a good ol' fashioned ass whooping!

 

[KENNECTED]

this kid deserves a good ol' fashioned ass whooping!

amen!