Parenting win! Parent shoots kids laptop with a .45 as punishment.

[Frisco]

Sorry, in this case he was spectacularly wrong to fire bullets into a computer because he was unhappy with his kid's usage of the device, while showing off in a childlike manner by videoing the event.

I'm always on the lookout for the "just because you think" thing, too, just as you said, because it's often true; we're expressing opinions and most opinions are of equal validity.

I'll this time, however, defend my opinion against violence and usage of firearms in this manner by stating that opinions condoning such acts are not of equal validity at all.

 

[Martimus]

I'm sorry but a computer is nothing more than an inanimate object...

This is no more wrong than things that are regularly done on TV for ratings. In an episode of American Choppper, Paul Teutel slingshotted a motorcycle carrying a dummy made up to look like his oldest son into a field. In another episode he (and his staff) smashed his younger sons car with a baseball bat, drove it into a dumpster, and then into a stand of trees.

In another series, American Guns, the family regularly take target practice at inanimate objects that the film crew wire with explosives. A member of the family shoots the object, the crew hit the detonator switch, and the item blows up with shrapnel flying all over the place.

And how many times have we seen movies or TV shows where a character gets angry at something on their TV and smashes it?

Life imitates art. Hollyweird is doing this on a much too regular basis anymore. While I agree that shooting a laptop is a rather extreme response, I simply don't feel that it's prudent to vilify the parent simply for taking his frustrations out on an inanimate object.

And in an update released by the parent, he and his kid sat down and discussed what happened calmly and rationally. He says that she understands the reason why he did what he did and is OK with it. He further stated that she suggested doing the same thing with her cell phone for more publicity and for an opportunity to get public offers to replace it. To me that does not sound like someone who is emotionally scarred. That sounds like someone who is looking beyond the individual incident and seeing all of the publicity that the viral video generated.

 

[pastafarian]

While I have no problem with his teaching his daughter a lesson, shooting the laptop was a bit extreme IMO. There are few things I have issue with too. He complained about her language by using the same language? I don't think teaching the use of firearms as a disciplinary tool is well thought out at all. How about teaching your teenage daughter how to reduce her chances of lung cancer and emphysema, yours as well? Destroying something you (supposedly) spent 6 hrs and $130 on the day before isn't the best financial lesson either. He's in IT and it took 6hrs to update a laptop? I can build a desktop from scratch in far less time and I'm not in IT. Taking away the laptop is an acceptable disciplinary action, I just don't agree with the way he accomplished it. One other thing? He went to college while in high school?

I'm also amused (as usual) by the "kids these days" comments about this video. Same as it ever was! "When I was a kid, we went to school barefoot uphill both ways while being pelted by hail, snow and scorching 130 degree weather. We worked 6 jobs for 200hrs a week and still could only afford to eat rocks and dirt. It was all that we knew and we liked it. You don't know how easy you kids have it nowadays!" Now, get off my lawn!

Hind sights 2020, the grass is always greener on the other side of the pasture and things don't change nearly as much as it may seem to you.

 

[Frisco]

The inanimate object status of the computer isn't the focal point of that action. It's about the violence with a firearm used as a substitute for more thought on the parent-to-child issue/relationship.

Having said all that I've said on this strange action the OP brought to us, at the core of it I see a frustrated dad with poor judgement. The fact that he got to that point with her proves his lack of skills as a father, in my opinion.

I've had plenty of lapses in judgement and display of poor skills throughout my decades of being a parent/friend to my kids. As an example, I once sat my oldest son, then 12, in front of the dinner his mom had made him, which he was refusing to eat, and told him that he wasn't leaving the table until he'd eaten it all. About 20 minutes into the ordeal, I realized I was losing his trust, and asked him what I could do to have him eat the meal his mom made for us all. He thought for a minute, then started eating. We later talked about the tension he'd been feeling over something going on at school, so he felt like rebelling at home might siphon off some of that tension. Poor guy.

I felt like crap because I'd tried to force something to come about that would have come about with no force at all and with just a bit of "what can I do to make this situation better?"

Force, and in this case of the shooter, violence to make a point with a kid is really, really stupid and accomplishes nothing, nothing at all positive.

*In my opinion*

 

[argedion]

Well, I can see destroying a bong or potato gun etc, but not a computer because that is true "destruction" in a wanton sort of way, in my opinion, and that is what makes it the opposite of a "parenting win."

My Good Fellow Sir,

IT IS NEVER EVER EVER A GOOD IDEA TO DESTROY A BONG

That is just down right evil

 

[IOWA]

Let's ask this. What's wrong with destroying a computer than he paid for? Anything?

 

[Martimus]

This father and daughter have their own relationship, their own dynamic, and their own way of communicating with each other. It's difficult (and sometimes dangerous) to project your personal sense of morality onto someone else.

What he did apparently was not illegal (or at least the local court system has not yet acted against him). And if we believe the fathers words, the daughter does not see this action in a negative way. While this only provides one side of the story, the father is still the legal guardian of the juvenile daughter. And until a local court rules otherwise, the final word on how to raise this child is the parents and not any of ours.

So long as laws are not broken and people are not hurt, this father has as much right to apply his choice of parenting skills to his child as you did with your child... as your father did with you... and as your grandfather did with your father.

Personally, and this is only my personal opinion, I'm a big believer that parenting took a nose dive the day someone decided that corporal punishment was wrong. As a child my parents took a belt to my backside on more than one occasion... and, to be honest, I deserved it. I firmly believe today that being punished when I was wrong has taught me many positive lessons... and, as a result, I believe that I'm a better person thanks to my parents. Nowadays, spank a child in public and don't be surprised if you end up in jail... Or that your child gets taken out of your home and placed in foster care. Is it any wonder why the youth of today no longer respect their elders.

 

[Frisco]

Let's ask this. What's wrong with destroying a computer than he paid for? Anything?

All the things that are wrong with destroying something that does not need to be destroyed, and again, especially in that manner and especially for that reason.

If we just isolate the event, in a way not connected to those other things (his "reasoning," the shooting of it and videoing it, etc), then we have a question that can be answered rather simply and with no thinking at all, which is the problem here (on his part), in my opinion.

 

[IOWA]

All the things that are wrong with destroying something that does not need to be destroyed, and again, especially in that manner and especially for that reason.

If we just isolate the event, in a way not connected to those other things (his "reasoning," the shooting of it and videoing it, etc), then we have a question that can be answered rather simply and with no thinking at all, which is the problem here (on his part), in my opinion.

But the destruction of it symbolizes that its truly gone forever, no getting it back, and I believe that was the point.

 

[Dark Jedi]

Sometimes you have to treat kids as well kids. If they know they have a chance to get it back. They will be perfect little angels and be polite and good manners until they get back what they want.

 

[dan330]

But the destruction of it symbolizes that its truly gone forever, no getting it back, and I believe that was the point.

i also think.. the father want to make a point to the other kids/people that supported her tantrum...

with a gun.. please back off... and leave my kid alone! she is in trouble.. you dont want any part of this trouble too!

 

[9to5cynic]

Kind of a crazy story, but don't you think it would have made much more of an impact if he had instead mailed the laptop to me?

 

[IOWA]

Sometimes you have to treat kids as well kids. If they know they have a chance to get it back. They will be perfect little angels and be polite and good manners until they get back what they want.

I agree completely.. because I know I've done it myself. I'm fairly certain a number of us have here as well.

 

[argedion]

I guess the bigger question to this is:

Where do we draw the line.

I know I have drawn a line for the older one and had a different line for the younger one. and as they get older the lines move.

This particular Girl is a 15 year old. Still probably adjusting to the hormonal change of her body. Still trying to find out who she is. What she likes what she dont like. The embarrasment of this being done publicly could "wake" her up or it will drive her further away. Not my family not my problem. I will pray for that family and pray that they are able to keep a relationship. I do get the feeling when dad looks back he may have some regret.

 

[breadnatty08]

argedion, you sum it up well. This is the "problem" with technology today. Things you post online be it social media or whatever can be likely tracked many years later. Do your parenting at home, not on YouTube.

 

[Nuknfutz]

The way people snap these days, I'm just glad he didn't shoot the kid. I don't know if it was necessarily the"right"thing to do, but if my dad had shot the windows and tires out of my first car (that he bought) the first time i came home a few hours late,i guarantee from then on i would have had my ass home on time every night after.

 

[TxGoat]

At the risk of sounding like someone that believes in "Time-Out" (I don't), the message sent here is "A gun will resolve conflict". The guy smokes and smoking has been deemed unhealthy, so if the daughter decides to learn from her old man's lesson, she should shoot him in the lungs. Lesson learned.

 

[IOWA]

At the risk of sounding like someone that believes in "Time-Out" (I don't), the message sent here is "A gun will resolve conflict". The guy smokes and smoking has been deemed unhealthy, so if the daughter decides to learn from her old man's lesson, she should shoot him in the lungs. Lesson learned.

That doesn't even make any sense.

 

[Frisco]

So long as laws are not broken and people are not hurt, this father has as much right to apply his choice of parenting skills to his child as you did with your child... as your father did with you... and as your grandfather did with your father.

Personally, and this is only my personal opinion, I'm a big believer that parenting took a nose dive the day someone decided that corporal punishment was wrong.

So, the parents of the past who did not strike their children were parenting incorrectly?

I'm sorry, I see so many flaws in "parenting took a nose dive when corporal punishment became wrong" that the notion basically makes me laugh, and sad as well. No personal offense to you or anybody who buys into that, but I must say it's a strange strange way to view the ongoing struggles of parenting.

People who say they believe that sort of thing are unaware of the slippery slope between advocating "corporal punishment" and child abuse. I won't be any part of that, and never ever thought of striking any loved one, let alone a child.

"Spanking," etc.. using firearms to blow holes through a computer on video? Man oh man, talk about "when parenting took a nose dive."

 

[AntimonyER]

So, the parents of the past who did not strike their children were parenting incorrectly?

I'm sorry, I see so many flaws in "parenting took a nose dive when corporal punishment became wrong" that the notion basically makes me laugh, and sad as well. No personal offense to you or anybody who buys into that, but I must say it's a strange strange way to view the ongoing struggles of parenting.

People who say they believe that sort of thing are unaware of the slippery slope between advocating "corporal punishment" and child abuse. I won't be any part of that, and never ever thought of striking any loved one, let alone a child.

"Spanking," etc.. using firearms to blow holes through a computer on video? Man oh man, talk about "when parenting took a nose dive."

Parenting is among the most difficult things on earth to figure out, but there is one thing that does work, and that is Love. I do spank my children, but it is because I love them, and I make sure every punishment is always immediately followed up with reassuring that I love them, and an explanation that their actions have consequences, and if they want to avoid a consequence, don't do what they did.

And while I don't agree with the method of this guy's punishment, there are two things I can say about him in his favor.

1. He is there. How many biological fathers have abandoned their children, and according to statistics, severly hampered that child's chances to succeed in life.

2. He cared enough about her behavior to do something about it. It's not just that he is there, but he is at least somewhat involved. Furthermore he was monitoring her internet usage, which is a positive. He may not be the most mature dad in the world, but he cares enough to try to shape her behavior through a lesson. From the update, it seems his message was recieved appropriately.

I would be willing to state from the two facts above, that he loves his daughter, and as such, is in his mind being a good parent by doing this. I think we should stop judging him for this singular action, and look at the bigger picture. He could be doing much worse.

 

[Frisco]

Well, it's an interesting video, and has a comedic air to it as well. What it's done though is cause debate on parenting, and that's a good thing.

The fact that "corporal punishment" has been mentioned is interesting as well. I think it serves to help my side of the discussion a bit, although indirectly. The fact that violence was used (a gun, bullets, destruction of a computer, the kid's mind and heart being exposed to all that in real life not just a movie or tv show, etc) has brought striking children into the discussion, as if the lack thereof has "ruined kids now days," etc.

If we are to believe that, then we must also assume the stance that fewer kids are being assaulted ("spanked," "whipped," "slapped," read "forced via your physical method of choice") today than in the past, and that is simply not true.

 

[AntimonyER]

Well, it's an interesting video, and has a comedic air to it as well. What it's done though is cause debate on parenting, and that's a good thing.

The fact that "corporal punishment" has been mentioned is interesting as well. I think it serves to help my side of the discussion a bit, although indirectly. The fact that violence was used (a gun, bullets, destruction of a computer, the kid's mind and heart being exposed to all that in real life not just a movie or tv show, etc) has brought striking children into the discussion, as if the lack thereof has "ruined kids now days," etc.

If we are to believe that, then we must also assume the stance that fewer kids are being assaulted ("spanked," "whipped," "slapped," read "forced via your physical method of choice") today than in the past, and that is simply not true.

I think there is a difference between "assault" and corporal punishment. "Assault" requires malice by law. I harbor no malice towards my children when I spank them. I hate doing it. But certain offenses require it in my house, because it is what my children will respond to. Verbal scoldings, time-outs, losing privelages, we have attempted all those, and they don't work in a lot of cases, in that the children will get out of control very quickly even with those methods being used frequently. But spankings, and "sassy sauce" (vinegar in the mouth) are feared, and the mention of those punishments are usually enough to quickly resolve the situation, thankfully. Where corporal punishment has gotten a bad rap IMO, is when it IS in fact assault, where the parent gets pissed at their kid and just start wailing on them, calling it spanking when it really isn't. There is a significant difference, and thankfully my parents taught me how to hold true to those differences (mainly a waiting period of 5 minutes between declaring the punishment, and enacting it, which also allows a reconsideration if once your anger subsides, you determine spanking isn't appropriate for the offense). I do think corporal punishment should be the sole domain of the parent, because it is such an intrusive punishment. Even if I do spank my children, I would not give the permission of a principal or administrator to do the same.

 

[Martimus]

So, the parents of the past who did not strike their children were parenting incorrectly?

I'm sorry, I see so many flaws in "parenting took a nose dive when corporal punishment became wrong" that the notion basically makes me laugh, and sad as well. No personal offense to you or anybody who buys into that, but I must say it's a strange strange way to view the ongoing struggles of parenting.

People who say they believe that sort of thing are unaware of the slippery slope between advocating "corporal punishment" and child abuse. I won't be any part of that, and never ever thought of striking any loved one, let alone a child.

"Spanking," etc.. using firearms to blow holes through a computer on video? Man oh man, talk about "when parenting took a nose dive."

Sadly my friend you continue to miss the point...

You, as a parent, made certain parenting choices that were specific to you and your children. These choices were valid for you and possibly for your children. They may not have been valid for other families. Your parents made certain parenting choices. Their parents made certain parenting choices.

My parents made certain parenting choices that I believe were appropriate for me and for my brother. So are you telling me that my parents were wrong in their choices? Do you have the right to impose your personal sense of morality and "right and wrong" on others? In my opinion, spanking a child (and I'm talking here about spanking and not beating a child into unconsciousness or some even worse state) is no more child abuse than is forcing a child to sit at the dinner table until that child eats the food placed in front of them. So were you guilty of child abuse? Or simply guilty of making what you describe as a poor choice?

We sadly live in a world where political correctness has made us afraid of doing whatever it takes to raise our children the best way we know how. So instead of learning respect, children learn that they can do what they want without serious repercussion. After all what's the worst possible punishment for the child... grounding them? Making them go to their room where their only consolation is their TV, their XBOX, and their computer? For some this might be adequate? But are all children the same? Do they all think the same? Do they all act the same?

Contrary to Doctor Benjamin Spock, there is no one comprehensive manual for parenting... there is no one methodology for parenting... and there is no one right way to raise a child!

What this parent did may have been an appropriate parenting choice for his daughter? And it may have been a poor parenting choice. But it was his choice to make... not ours! If what he did was wrong then he'll soon find himself in court defending his choice.

 

[Dark Jedi]

Sadly my friend you continue to miss the point...

You, as a parent, made certain parenting choices that were specific to you and your children. These choices were valid for you and possibly for your children. They may not have been valid for other families. Your parents made certain parenting choices. Their parents made certain parenting choices.

My parents made certain parenting choices that I believe were appropriate for me and for my brother. So are you telling me that my parents were wrong in their choices? Do you have the right to impose your personal sense of morality and "right and wrong" on others? In my opinion, spanking a child (and I'm talking here about spanking and not beating a child into unconsciousness or some even worse state) is no more child abuse than is forcing a child to sit at the dinner table until that child eats the food placed in front of them. So were you guilty of child abuse? Or simply guilty of making what you describe as a poor choice?

We sadly live in a world where political correctness has made us afraid of doing whatever it takes to raise our children the best way we know how. So instead of learning respect, children learn that they can do what they want without serious repercussion. After all what's the worst possible punishment for the child... grounding them? Making them go to their room where their only consolation is their TV, their XBOX, and their computer? For some this might be adequate? But are all children the same? Do they all think the same? Do they all act the same?

Contrary to Doctor Benjamin Spock, there is no one comprehensive manual for parenting... there is no one methodology for parenting... and there is no one right way to raise a child!

What this parent did may have been an appropriate parenting choice for his daughter? And it may have been a poor parenting choice. But it was his choice to make... not ours! If what he did was wrong then he'll soon find himself in court defending his choice.

In most cases just because one parent chooses one form of punishment over another doesn't make that parent right or wrong. Just like his choices he makes are not right nor are they wrong. We as parents have to make snap choices and we have to live by those choices.

This firearm discussion of legal or not has nothing to do with the child. It wasn't like she was there watching it as it happen. So she couldn't feel threatened. She wasn't made to hold the gun and Shoot the gun herself to destroy her computer. Her life wasn't threatened nor was it endangered.

Thinking all kids problems can be fixed with a good talking to and the child has a moment of clarity is "Brady Bunch" thinking. Is so sorry to have done it in the first place and.they hug.

It is not a universal fix for every child out there. I spank my child when.he is really bad. Like they say that ass has a direct line to the brain lol. I also send him to his room and also make him stand at the position of attention (from my military days lol) so I have incorporated many different things in his punishment frombthe past to present and some that people looks at me funny when I place him in the position of attention.

No one has all the right answers nor the right fixes of how every parent should correct your child and be thankful you had kids that listened to you. It didn't come by the way you corrected them either.

 

[AntimonyER]

Even just spanking my children I have different methods. My 3 year old daughter gets bare bottom, and a more stinging style slap (or wooden spoon), because she will actually laugh if I do it through her clothes, so for her it is the pain that registers. My 5 year old son will start balling at the thought of a spanking however, so a quick swat with hardly any force is more than enough to get the point across, for him it is more mental then physical discipline.