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Hello, I lost my Hubby somewhere in this forum...

Hi evowidow,

I appreciate your wrap-up of this thread in response to my pointing out your attack on Steven. I can see how you may have seen things that way and I have no doubt that in your mind, your point of view is the true one. I understand completely and can assure you that I run into that all of the time - and I promise, what I'm about to suggest is nothing personal, but just downright good advice.

Here's the thing - around here, we attack issues, not other members, and while you may have felt that it was ok to attack Steven for the reasons you cite, I think you see now the flaw in that, as each observer has their own point of view in these things.

And that's where I come in - when passions overtake and confusions swell, I provide the objectivity. ;)

In any case, I'm happy that you've publicly apologized to Steven and I'm sure he'll appreciate it.

So, let's move back on topic, shall we?

And that would be guacamole.

OK, first, and I cannot stress this enough -- if you ever visit the Southwest, please don't call it guac. I mention this for your benefit, and you're completely welcome in advance for this very important travel tip.

And I apologize, it hadn't occurred to me that anyone might be leaving out more than the garlic. Lemon, garlic, salt and green chile are a common concoction, used in a great many dishes, and one popular substrate to add includes avocados - that particular combination constitutes guacamole.

If green chiles aren't available to you, freshly minced jalapenos - the hottest you find (no no - hotter than that) - provide an acceptable substitute. Never skip the peppers and whatever you do, don't add tomatoes (unless you're from California or Colorado).

I think the best thing I can suggest for this is that you come and visit us. Many women drop by to complain about their menfolk to WifelyMon, and in no time at all, they tend to find me so charming that all complaints are forgotten and great fun ensues. Often that fun includes a nice round in the kitchen for our guests, and we could use that opportunity to allow various avocado and chile experiments that I've no doubt will prove enlightening as well as downright tasty.

And no worries, evowidow (if indeed that is your real name), we never skimp on the presentation of a nicely prepared snack. In fact, it's almost a certainty that we believe in that old adage, presentation is everything.

Oh, before I forget: Completely sorry about the totally botched delivery. I instructed them to use the GPS tracking feature on your phone, and had forgotten you weren't using an Evo. I completely overlooked that and for that, I sincerely apologize. I'm sure you'll understand that another old adage applies there: your fault, my fault, nobody's fault. :)

Cheers,
Your pal Early

PS - I'm going to overlook that whole random thing about one-upping your husband to novox78. I can see by the order of the posts that you were once again a little peckish and in need of snack when you posted that, so whatever that was about, let's just overlook it, move on, and stay on topic, mmmk?
 
LOL, yet another volley / salvo fired across the bow ;) [in the kindest manner, of course :)].

I'm reminded (just remotely, mind you) of the Jane Curtain / Dan Akroyd take-off of the hilarious 60 Minute's Point-Counterpoint segment from SNL way back when... I'll leave it to those that remember this to mentally fill-in the blanks :D.

Cheers!
 
No, srsly, not at all. :)

When someone tells me that posts look like "blah blah blah cookies..." and then go on to explain details by way of apology, it's my job to pitch in and help. :D

But that guacamole - that's srsly biznez! Imagine if everyone said guac - how would Gordon Lightfoot have ever made that famous rhyme:

The legend lives on from the Chippewa on down,
of the big lake they call Guacamole....

Love that tune. I used to fish by the ruins of where they launched the Edmund Fitzgerald, by the way. Haven't tried guacamole with fish - suppose that would work, too, tho.

The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald - YouTube
 
...how would Gordon Lightfoot have ever made that famous rhyme:

The legend lives on from the Chippewa on down,
of the big lake they call Guacamole....

Love that song (well, Gordon Lightfoot's version, anyway)--one of the best songs ever!

edit: thanks for the YouTube link, too...I had to click and listen to it :).
 
Oh, before I forget: Completely sorry about the totally botched delivery. I instructed them to use the GPS tracking feature on your phone, and had forgotten you weren't using an Evo. I completely overlooked that and for that, I sincerely apologize.

lol. iPhone GPS = fail. If they made a GPS that actually worked properly, they'd lose their "awesome battery life" advantage.

both wifey and I are conversant in Spanish, so we've earned the right to call it 'guac' even if it means offending the tex-mex crowd. And I find it funny how some Spaniard dude somehow got the word for avocado confused with the Spanish word for lawyer. The actual word for avocado is aguacate. It's from this word that guacamole is derived. The word for lawyer is abogado.

hagame un sammiche [sic] con chuleta y guac, porfa :)
 
I don't care how many you speak or what makes you srsly think you're El Jefe del Lenguaje - it's not guac - that's not something you earn, that's something you succumb to failure at.

To associate a New Mexican with this Tex-Mex crowd of which you speak - well, you knew what you were doing when you tried that.

You'll be among the first offered a blindfold and a place against the brick wall when La Reconquista comes.
 
No, not really but thanks for asking! :D ;)

Srsly tho - anyone who uses the word guac has lost so much more than a spouse, and it's our job to help.

Honesty, it's no longer a surprise that they may well be starving or something.
 
Dear Early,

Thank you for seeing my view and retracting your earlier statement claiming that I had attacked Steven. I knew that you, being an objective and logical being of great intellect, would realize your grave error in thinking that any statement about Steven in my previous posts could be attacks on Steven.

Moving on to the happier topic of what you've so lovingly called guac. I am glad to see that you are such an enthusiast on the subject. However, while the combination of lemon, garlic, salt and green chile maybe wonderful concoction, I still contend that limes provide a better acid flavor for guacamole. Also, I believe you are doing a disservice to the noble fruit of avocado by referring to it as merely a substrate. This connotes that the avocado simply serves a flavorless carrier of your additions, which is a far cry from the truth. The avocado has such a distinct and beautiful flavor which defines the taste of any guacamole. I do believe we are in agreement that tomatoes do not belong in guacamole, unless of course you are from California. As a side note, this is most likely because they've found that it causes cancer to eat tomato-less guacamole in the state of California. Sadly, many things have been found to cause cancer while in California.

I was a bit baffled by the botched delivery of your promised sammich. At first, I wondered why it was even necessary to use the GPS of my iPhone when instead your courier's Evo should have been able to find me without assistance. Then I realized previously-lost hubby's airrave was probably causing the confusion. Indeed hubby's Evo often insists that we are four towns over when we are home. But this is all in the past, and we should live in the present. Given my need for sammiches has long since passed, instead please have your courier deliver flowers and chocolates to WifelyMon. I believe that she would enjoy them immensely, but do check that this time the courier relies on his own technology rather than assuming that the recipient will have their phone on. I presume things at the Mon Domicile have not spiraled into oblivion such that you have forgotten the address or her favorite flowers. If you are unsure, please look to your right. If you do not see a plate of uneaten sammiches, then most likely things are alright.

In closing, I would like to thank you for the kind invitation to your home. I'm afraid I must respectfully decline at this moment due to my lack of current complaints with regards previously-lost hubby.

Yours,
~evo widow

PS. As you have noted, this is not my real name. I'm glad you agree using my real name on such a public forum would be a silly thing to do.
 
Hi evowidow,

Rarely have I seen such a stunning display of spelling - and I'm talking tour de force of the alphabet here - while simultaneously accomplishing such a revisionist history.

No no - I'm astounded at your paucity of 9-letter words.

While you decide if you really have more to say on this, I think it's incumbent on me to defend the iPhone and its many fine owners - there's just no need to slag them here, no matter how much buyer's remorse you may be suffering.

Android users rise above that, as you'll no doubt learn in time.

While I accept your apologies, bordering on fawning (in much the same way that a shell borders on a turtle) it's really only fair for me to just come out and say that despite what you may think, I really am spoken for, although I am quite flattered at your offer to prepare tasty snacks to my liking.

Your one true pal,
Early
 
novox77 ---> iphone widower? :eek: ;) :p

Not really. For me to be an iphone widower, she'd have to be moderating some iOS forum, helping people jailbreak, use her iPhone beyond any reasonable use for a phone, and irk me enough that I'd actually be motivated to post in said iOS forum solely to lament about being an iPhone widower and even posting in other casual threads, all the while not having any interest in iOS whatsoever, yet curry the favor of several of the regular members, engaging in playful verbal combat with a prominent moderator, and even earning the distinction of having my first and only thread be stickied for an entire weekend.

*Novox77 just achieved a personal best for longest real sentence. Earns himself a sammich.*
 
Not really. For me to be an iphone widower, she'd have to be moderating some iOS forum, helping people jailbreak, use her iPhone beyond any reasonable use for a phone, and irk me enough that I'd actually be motivated to post in said iOS forum solely to lament about being an iPhone widower and even posting in other casual threads, all the while not having any interest in iOS whatsoever, yet curry the favor of several of the regular members, engaging in playful verbal combat with a prominent moderator, and even earning the distinction of having my first and only thread be stickied for an entire weekend.

*Novox77 just achieved a personal best for longest real sentence. Earns himself a sammich.*

My work here is done.
 
I was afraid when I first read this intro cuz I thought *my* wife may have come looking for me. She is slightly jealous of my "mistress", and asks if I'd love her more if she were slim & black.
 
I snorted gatorade all over my 'puter when I found this post. I choked and giggled more when I read the stats:

evo widow
Posts: 14
Thanked 43 Times in 7 Posts

*kowtowing motion* Well done ma'am - I had never thought such a ratio possible.
 
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